Senza Glutine Por Favore

I'm back from Italy!  It was truly an amazing experience, and I am so beyond thankful that I got the opportunity to go!  While I was there I noticed a couple of things about living gluten free.  First, they take CD and gluten intolerance much more seriously over there, and second, they really do understand what gluten is, what it is in, and how to avoid it.  I may not know much Italian, but by the end of the trip, I was sure getting good at saying "senza glutine por favore."  Notice I said, "by the end of the trip."  My first day in Italy was pretty rough actually.  We landed and then went straight to our first location to sight see and have lunch; no stop at the hotel first, just land and go.  I think that's where my first problem actually came from.  The stress of traveling really took a toll on my body, and I spent the first day and a half really feeling sick and tired. 

After spending day one sick on the bus and sicker at our first stop, I decided it would be better for me and my health to take the next day off.  So while the group was off learning about aging Parmesan cheese and sausage making I spent most of the morning sleeping off my stomach ache.  Apparently I missed the right day.  Everyone came back that evening saying that it wasn't really that special, and since we were going to a Parmesan cheese producer the next morning, and I had made sausage at school I didn't even really miss anything.  Later that night, I was finally starting to feel better, so my roommate and I decided we would venture out into the city of Parma to find some food.  Well, we got a little turned around, and didn't find the close restaurant that everyone had found the night before.  What we did find, however, made me laugh.  We managed to stumble upon a little Chinese restaurant, and boy did I have a heck of a time explaining, in my broken Italian, to the Chinese Italian server, about how I couldn't eat gluten.  I feel very fortunate that a nice Italian lady, who spoke perfect English, was there to translate to the server.  With her help I ended up ordering chicken and steamed rice.  What is really funny about it, my rice came out, but no chicken.  The server even looked at me and said, "chicken, waiting," so I figured they were taking some extra time and precautions.  Finally by the time I finished my rice, and my roommate had finished her whole meal, the server brought us a dessert menu.  My roommate and I looked at each other, and we both joked about how they must be killing the chicken in the back.  So we ordered dessert, I took a gamble and ordered gelato (pictured below) and she ordered a tiramisu.  We still thought that my chicken would probably come before, or even with, our desserts.  After they brought our desserts we finally figured out that my chicken was never coming, but at least they didn't charge us for it.  So that was my first experience trying to order gluten free in Italy, and lucky for me it got much easier as the trip went on. 

The next restaurant in Parma was much easier!  It was a small, family run establishment, and when I mentioned my need for gluten free food the owner not only worked with me to make ordering easy, he also brought me packaged rice cakes and crackers, all "senza gluten."  I ordered a salad, and perhaps one of the best pork chops I have ever had.  It was amazing, and all delivered with a smile, which just makes everything better!  My only regret was that we didn't go to this restaurant until our last night in Parma, so I only got to try the one meal there.

The next day we were off to Florence.  If you ever make it to Italy, the locals will tell you how easy it is to navigate Florence, "Just find the river, and walk beside it until you get to the bridge.  That will put you on the exterior of the main part of the city, and you can find your way anywhere from there."  Well, it's not that easy at all!!!  We found the river all right, but which bridge were we supposed to use as a landmark?!?  There were at least three bridges that we could see!  So we walked, a lot!!!  We did actually manage to find our hotel on the outskirts of town, but it took about two hours.  I was so happy we left ourselves plenty of time to make it back to the hotel before dinner.  We didn't leave enough time to shower after getting lost, but eh, it's Europe, who needs a shower?  After we made it back we did a quick change to meet in the lobby to walk to our dinner location.  Yep, I said we were hoofing it again.  In fact, you actually have to walk to most locations inside Florence.  Cars are strictly prohibited in most of the city.  It's no wonder that most Italians eat the way they do, but stay very slim.  Again, we had the joy of navigating Florence without a guide to get us where we were going.  The 20 minute walk quickly, or maybe slowly, became an hour long walk, but we finally found the little restaurant we were looking for.  Once there, it was the first place I was able to get pasta!  I was so excited for some noodles I didn't actually care how they were served, so I tried my first wild boar of the trip.  It wasn't bad, kinda interesting, albeit a bit gamy, but it is a specialty dish of the region, so I had to try it!

Florence was a bit of a whirlwind, and after only one day there, we departed to the Chianti region of Tuscany, which was also my favorite stop of the trip.  Tuscany is beautiful!!  In fact, I would say it was easily some of the most beautiful scenery I have ever, or probably will ever see in my life!  Not only is the actual countryside beautiful, but the food was beautiful too!  Our hotel was in the middle of the country, with a little family restaurant next door.  The next closest restaurant, shop, or anything for that matter, was about 6 km away, or a little more than three miles, so not exactly close walking distance.  We spent a lot of time at that restaurant, and by the end of our time there the chef and our server were very familiar with my needs.  Here's a picture of an amazing beef carpaccio salad that I had.  It was delicious!

This is Alfredo, our server from Tuscany

My favorite part of the trip, by far, was prepping lunch at the Tuscan vineyard.  We had an actual cooking lesson in Parma, which was awesome too, but in Tuscany we had easy prep work, and did it outdoors with the most amazing view I have ever seen!  We made bruschetta, and veggies to top our homemade pasta, that the group also made.  Of course I didn't eat the pasta, or the crostinis, but it was still an amazing experience to prep on the patio.  They did actually give me a bowl of the fresh tomatoes and a gluten free pasta with our veggies.  It was incredible!  Everything was fresh, and organic, including the wine!  This vineyard was cool!  They are the first in the world to come up with a way to make a totally organic, sulfate free wine, and it is tasty!!  Below are a couple of pictures of the vineyard, and us cooking on the patio.  I still feel like it was all a dream, and I even have pictures to prove it wasn't.

These two are of the group making pasta.  I didn't help because hand washing was tricky while making food on the patio, and I didn't want to cross contaminate my hands.  It was still pretty awesome to watch it all happen!

 

Here's me posing with our insane view!

 

After our few days in Tuscany, it was time to hit the road again, and we were off to Rome!  Rome is a lot like Florence because it is a very busy city.  However, cars are allowed in many more locations in Rome than they are in Florence.  Lanes don't exist, if your bike, car, truck or bus fits, it's totally OK to drive anywhere.  Small cars and scooters dart in and out of traffic, and they park where ever they can find a spot.  Sometimes the spots that they find to park in are quite funny actually.  They will park on the sidewalk, they park on the road in a usable lane, and even funnier, they parallel park beside another row of parallel parked cars, so the parking is two cars wide into the actual street.  I have never seen so many people, on the roads, or within the city!  It was incredible!  We did a ton more walking in Rome in order to see all the sites within the city, but our first stop was at McDonald's to use the facilities.  Inside the Micky D's was a whole other world.  In America our McDonald's are pretty standard.  The plastic booths look pretty much the same no matter what state you are in, the counters are the same, and that's pretty much it.  In Rome, the McDonald's was two stories, with fashionable art deco interior.  As with most of Italy, they decorated with bottles of olive oil and vinegar, but they also had a number of boards with information about what "specials" they were offering, and downstairs they had one of the most elaborate pastry and cappuccino bars I have ever seen!  I know it's crazy for me to care so much about McDonald's, especially since I stopped eating McDonald's long before I stopped eating gluten, but it was spectacular, and it just shows how much pride all Italians have in their food.  Even their fast food!

 

 

Later that night we made it to our Rome hotel which left something to be desired, but eh, it's Europe, so you can't expect the same comforts we get used to out here.  OK, it was actually pretty bad.  We were in a really bad part of town, and my roommate and I got stuck in a room that is smaller than my office at work, while the rest of the group had "normal size" rooms.  After raising a little hell, and getting our room switched we were off to dinner.

 

We found a nice restaurant across the street from the hotel and we all ordered wine and food.  After mentioning that I needed gluten free food I ordered chicken breast with roasted potatoes and a salad.  My salad came out great, but when I got my chicken there were no potatoes, which made me sad since I was really looking forward to them.  When I asked the server what was up, he went back to the kitchen to figure it all out.  A short while later, the chef came out and explained that the potatoes are prepared at the station next to the pizza making station, and there was too much likely hood for cross contamination, but he would be bringing me some grilled veggies on the house.  It was a first!  In my experience in the states, the servers and cooks go with it, and they rarely tell you about such instances of cross contamination.  What was even better, the next day we went back for lunch and I didn't even have to order.  The chef had personally gone shopping earlier in the day to buy me an assortment of gluten free pastas and breads!  I was amazed!!  Never since I have been gluten free has anyone ever gone to those lengths for me!  I was so thankful that they cared so much, and I was grateful that we had a few meals scheduled there so that I could show how much I appreciated it!!

 

By the end of the 12 day trip, I only had pasta four times, and two of those times were at our restaurant in Rome.  The rest of the trip I could pretty much guarantee that I would get a plate of meat and cheese, which wasn't too bad either honestly.  I also ate quite a bit of risotto, which I'm not as big a fan of, but at least I knew they were taking me seriously!  I wish that in America when I order gluten free that I wouldn't have to explain that it really is a medical necessity, and that my food would be delivered with a smile instead of an eye roll.  Maybe some day.  For now I will fondly think of Italy, and all the plates of meat.  I would much rather a restaurant tell me, "We can't make that gluten free.  Would you prefer a plate of assorted meats and cheeses?"  Instead of being told that, yes, I can get that GF, only to go home sick 20 minutes later.

 

Above is one of the many assorted meat trays I ate.

Below is what I made at our lesson in Parma.  Eggplant and Zucchini Caponata

 

If Italy can get gluten free food right, then surly we can do the same in the US.  I have faith that we can anyway.  For now, I'm happy to be home, but I will miss the simplicity of "Senza glutine por favore."

I'm getting the butterflies!!!!

Ten more days until I go on the biggest trip of my life!!  My stomach feels like it is in the circus, it is jumping around so much.  I keep reminding myself to calm down.  It's not working very well ha ha ha.  I have learned how to say "hello, goodbye, thank you, and where is the bathroom."  I bought new packing cubes, and a toiletry bag, as well as a few different secret money pouches.  I have done a little something special for the wonderful man in my life, so he doesn't forget me when I'm half the world away from him, as well as purchased extra food, treats, and toys for all the critters so they won't forget me either.  I'm pretty much ready except for the actual packing step!  I still can't believe that in 10 short days I'll be in beautiful Italy!!!  Wow!  I feel excited, scared, and at a real loss for the perfect words to describe everything I'm feeling as I get ready for the trip.

One of the most important steps I took to get ready for this trip was to let the travel agency know that I am gluten intolerant.  I think I may be one of the first customers of theirs to mention gluten as a condition.  When I first heard about the opportunity to take the trip I wanted to go, but I wanted to make sure that I would be able to eat, and enjoy eating during the tour.  It would be miserable to take a food tour through Italy and to not be able to eat anything!  Well, I emailed the travel agency and I asked if it would be possible for me to go, and to still be able to eat.  The email I got in return was a little less than reassuring actually.  It said something along the lines of "well, if she can't have gluten, don't eat pasta or bread."  Um, yeah I know, I've been going strong totally gluten free for over a year and a half now, and I was more concerned about hidden gluten and cross contamination.  Obviously, I have decided to take a chance.  I think it's important for me to jump on an opportunity like this, regardless of a possibility of gluten contact.

I have stocked up on antacids, allergy pills, and, just in case, my meds for extreme nausea.  I have also come up with a game plan just in case things are not as simple as they should be where food is concerned.  The first city that we will be visiting is Parma, and it just so happens that what the city of Parma is famous for is cured meat and cheese!  I plan to stock up on jerky and cheese while I'm in Parma just in case gluten becomes an issue later on in the trip.  I hope that it won't, and in fact, I am actually pretty sure I'll be fine, apparently Celiac's Disease is very common in Italy, I won't even start on the irony there.  I also purchased the "Gluten Free Guide to Italy" which has a warning card inside, written in Italian, that I can pass on to servers to let them know that I cannot have gluten.  I have taken every step I can think of, and some that I did not think of (I have such great friends!) to make sure that I am prepared, and I really think I am!

Ten days just seems like no time at all!  In fact, it's less time than I will be spending on this trip.  I think that's why the butterflies are fluttering so frantically in my belly.  It has finally hit me that this trip is not only real, but that wild horses couldn't stop me from jumping on the plane!  Despite all my concerns, legitimate as they may be, I am excited!  This truly is the trip of a lifetime, and the countdown continues!!

A Word On Eating Out

Something has been on my mind for a while now.  As a member of the gluten free community who likes to go out to eat, cross contamination is a very real concern.  As someone who likes to eat out, and as someone who has also had a chance to work in school kitchens, and a limited amount in other professional kitchens, I know that eating out can be a huge risk.

There are ways to minimize the risk, such as speaking with your server, the manager, or even the chef or cook who will be preparing your food.  But the risk is still there.  In some cases, I know that we don't get taken seriously, and sometimes someone who thinks the special requests are coming from someone on a fad diet will be the one taking your order.  But even under the best of circumstances, in professional kitchens, gluten cross contamination can happen at any time.  Of course there are steps that the kitchen can take to ensure the safety of the food, but accidents can still happen.  How do I know accidents can still happen even when all safety measures are taken?  Well, because I have glutend myself in the process of making food in a professional kitchen.

I am very careful while preparing foods in school.  In fact, I usually try to alter what I am making so that it will be a gluten free version of the recipe that I am given.  However, it is not always possible for me to cook exclusively gluten free at school.  One Saturday I was assigned stuffing.  There was no gluten free bread to use at school, so I threw on some rubber gloves and started cutting chunks of french bread.  After the bread was cubbed, I took off my rubber gloves and started to cut up pieces of fruit and nuts to put in the stuffing.  Well, that's where my first problem came.  Because I was not cooking for myself, I didn't think to change cutting boards, and I took a bite of crisp and juicy apple.  As you can probably guess, there was one or two small crumbs on the apple, and I spent most of the afternoon fighting off the urge to spend the rest of class in the bathroom, (pleasant I know).

I couldn't believe I had done it to myself!  I will spend an extra five minutes detailing every little thing for a server while I order, but I couldn't spare the extra thought to using a different cutting board, or even, cutting the fruit and nuts first?  How can I get so upset at servers, and kitchen staff when they gluten me, when I have done the exact same thing to myself at school?

This brings me to gluten free areas.  I think that if a restaurant is going to claim that they serve gluten free food, they should be trained in how to really keep it separate.  Having a specific part of the kitchen, with specific tools is the only way to keep cross contamination to a minimum.  Even better yet, restaurants that use little to no flour at all should be promoted in our community.  I know, it's a pipe dream to think that restaurants will start marketing to the gluten free community this way because most people hear "gluten free" and they think flavorless, or paleo, or natural, or any number of ways of saying that the food couldn't possibly be good.  However, food does not have to contain flour and wheat.  There is no hard and fast rule that pasta must be served with Italian food, or that sauces must be made with a flour based roux.  Especially in fine dining, it is possible to make a rich and delishous sauce by reducing cooking liquids and wine.  If you must thicken your sauce, arrowroot flour is a perfect thickener.

I do think it is very important for people with Celiac or other gluten intolerances to understand that eating out can be risky, but I also wish that restaurants would take us more seriously.  I understand that currently many people are going gluten free for fad dieting purposes, but that doesn't change the fact that many and probably most of us making special requests regarding gluten actually need the kitchen to take us seriously.  It shouldn't even matter if it is a fad dieter that comes into a restaurant.  I believe that everyone should be treated with courtesy and respect.  If a person orders a gluten free bun, but then eats the french fries from a common frier, that's their choice, and they will have to deal with the consequences.  However, for myself, and others who really cannot eat gluten, I would suggest being very specific with your server.  Don't talk down to them, and don't make too many unnecessary requests, but do make sure that they know that this is a serious condition, allergy, or health concern, not just a fad diet.  I still get the occasional eye roll when ordering, but when I actually explain to a server my condition, I find that they are much more willing to work with me, and they become invested in my not getting sick.

Just the other day I was at a restaurant and ordered a salad and had it altered to be gluten free.  I explained to the server that it was a serious allergy (no I'm not Celiac, but it doesn't make it any less serious), and that I wasn't ordering like that to be bossy, demanding, or expectant, but it was a matter of health.  After that I asked for the dressing on the side, which I joked with the server was just to be picky, he laughed, and appreciated my joke.  I think many servers start rolling their eyes when a person wants to order gluten free because so many people act like they are on a high and mighty mission to convert the world to a gluten free way of life.

All in all, I think it is important to continue a social life after gluten!  It is great to be able to go out and enjoy food and restaurants like everyone else!  However, you do need to be careful about how you order, and you need to understand that accidents can still happen, even under the best circumstances.  Servers are people too, and let's be honest, they are the person who is going to interact with the kitchen on your behalf.  If you treat them poorly, do you think they are really going to want to go the extra mile in the back of house to make sure you don't get sick from accidental cross contamination?  Probably not.  But on the other hand, if you're nice to them, explain your health concerns, they can be your champion in the kitchen!  Considering all the potential hazards of cross contamination in the kitchen, I know I want the server on my side!

To eat corn, or not to eat corn... That's my question!

Corn...  In my experience, it is one of the hottest issues in the gluten free community at the moment.  So many people have different ideas about corn, and if it is safe for people with CD or other gluten intollerances.  As with everything else, here's my humble opinion.

We know that corn is very hard to digest, and if you didn't know how hard it is to digest, you've probably still seen, shall we say, evidence of it the day after you eat it.  Corn sticks around, and yes, because of that it is a pretty good source of fiber.  However, when you look at the gluten protein, and when you look at corn, they are pretty similar.  Corn is missing one part of the gluten protein bond, but it still has one part in common with gluten.  Because of this, the jury is out on corn and if it is truly safe or not.  Many doctors will tell you that corn is a perfectly safe grain, and on the other hand, there are probably just as many experts and doctors that would tell Celiac's or others who are gluten intollerant to not touch any grains at all.

In my personal experience, I can eat some corn without adverse affects, but there is a fine line between what is acceptable and what is too much.  One other observation I have made about eating corn, is that the more processed it is, the harder it is for me to digest... duh.  I personally do better with organic blue corn chips than with other corn chip varieties (Fritos anyone???).  I have also noticed that when corn meal or Masa flour are used in place of wheat flour there isn't too much difference in how my system reacts to it than if it had just been wheat.  It is possible that it's a matter of cross contamination in working kitchens, but I haven't had much better experiences at home where my kitchen has been 100% gluten free for over a year now.

This is another time when I think it's so important to listen to your own body.  Everyone is different, and just because one person can, or cannot, eat a certain corn product doesn't mean that everyone will have the same reaction.  If you still feel sick, and you are using corn as a supplement for wheat products, chances are you're eating more of it than your body can handle.  Try going a week without it.  It's hard, trust me!  Corn is in everything because it's cheap and we have tons of it available for the food industry to use as a filler.  As with gluten, it's important to read all the way through food labels.

One other take away from this, is that variety is vital to any balanced diet.  If you use corn as your only wheat substitute, maybe you could try other varieties of gluten free flour.  There are some premixed varieties out there that don't contain any corn, or you can even make your own!  Gluten free flour can be complicated, and one is not necessarily interchangeable with another, but it can also be fun.  There are loads of gluten free flour mix recipes available online, or in gluten free cookbooks.  Experiment, and have fun!  Being gluten and corn free doesn't mean you have to give everything up, but it does mean you must learn how to be more creative!

Italy bound!

Thirty two days...  That's how long I have before I take my first international trip!  My emotions are seriously mixed about it too.  Of course I'm beyond excited to be going to Italy!  I mean, who doesn't want to visit Italy?  But I'm also pretty scared.  Leaving the comfortable, gluten free confines of Colorado makes me uneasy, especially going to the pasta capital of the world.  I've done all the research about how to visit Italy in a gluten free world, and in fact, I have found out that Celiac's Disease is so common over there that they have a national program to address it with many of their restaurants.  I even bought a guide book that specifically names the restaurants associated with the program!  The fact, however, that I cannot speak Italian remains, and I fear that something will literally get lost in translation, and I'll end up spending my trip sick.  I know that just thinking this way on the front end will make it worse.  It hasn't happened yet, and might not even happen at all...  but what if it does happen?  What will I do if I get sick while I'm over there?  I know stress will only make the situation worse.  Stress is one of the first things (other than gluten) that sends my stomach through a loop, and in fact, I have been sick a number of mornings recently, and I know that stress has something to do with it.

Stress aside, I couldn't be more excited for the trip than if I had just won the lottery!  I'll be in Italy for 10 whole days (plus two days for flights there and back), and touring several cities!  I'm taking the trip with a group from my school, so we will be visiting different foodie destinations, including Tuscany, Parma, and Rome where we will take tours of wineries, and balsamic vinegar and ham producers.  It's an incredibly exciting thought, and I can't believe I get to be a part of it!

For at least the last decade, one of my life's goals has been to take cooking lessons in Tuscany, and I actually get to do that!!  I think what is even more exciting for me is that I'm going in the prime of my life.  I recently turned 30, and after a lack luster decade in my twenties, I am ready to grab 30 and take on the world, Italy in this case.  I spent most of my twenties sick and depressed, not knowing what was wrong with me.  Figuring out my health issues was a big step in the right direction, and taking this trip is like the culmination of getting my life on the right track.  Every time I took a trip in my twenties I ended up sick, miserable, and having a piss poor time.  I can't... no I won't let that happen with Italy!!  I am determined to get and stay healthy for the next month in order to have the most fulfilling experience possible for the 10 glorious days that I get to experience Italian life.  I'm still concerned about the language barrier, and of course I will be aware of my food while I'm there, but I will have the most amazing time while I'm there.  Italy, here I come!  I'm 30, I'm healthy, and I'm ready to have the most amazing trip ever!

It's been a while, and boy do I have something to say!!

Well, it has been a fair amount of time since my last blog post, and I will tell you, I have been a busy lady!  My best gal pal's wedding is a pleasant memory, and we have moved into the possibly even more hectic month of April.  This month I have a kitchen lab on Saturdays, and I am taking a nutrition lecture class on Sundays.  I'm really excited to be in the nutrition class, especially today.

This morning as I was scrolling down my Facebook feed, I happened to run across a fellow gluten free blogger who was asked what a reader might do for her vegetarian, Celiac daughter.  We literally had a lecture on this in my class yesterday, so I was really excited to jump in and offer a helpful suggestion!  "Amaranth!"  I said, "It's an ancient, gluten free grain, and a complete protein on its own!"  There are actually three such grains, they are amaranth, buckwheat, and quinoa, but I only mentioned the amaranth.  Well, not even two seconds after I posted my information an Internet troll decided to jump on my post and tell me that I was wrong, and that amaranth is "laden with gluten."

Being human, and knowing the potential for my hearing something incorrectly, I was immediately worried that perhaps I had given some false information and maybe I had misunderstood something in class yesterday.  Well, I hopped on the old search engine, and typed the question, "Is amaranth gluten free."  The very first post was one about how great amaranth is, especially for people intolerant to gluten, for the exact reasons I mentioned!  So, I did what came naturally, and I immediately shared the page with the person who called me out.

Then I gave it some time, and thought that maybe this person might just be coming from somewhere knowledgeable too.  So I did a little digging and found out that she is a fan of several of the same gluten free sites that I am.  One of the sites is from a gluten free researcher who I have heard mixed reviews about, I won't say exactly who.  What I'm getting at, is that this researcher is one who I think has some amazing things to say, and I've learned a ton about being gluten free from the site!  But there are also a few statements that are questionable, or perhaps too extreme.

This got me thinking.  After over a year of being gluten free, I have had the pleasure of experiencing the good, the bad, and the ugly of being gluten free, and not one single doctor, researcher, or blogger has gotten it right for my exact gluten intolerance.  However, they have all hit a few points that were exactly the information that I needed to hear!

What does that mean for the gluten free community?  I think that it means that we all have to take our own health into our own hands, and become our own researchers and advocates!  I know just how damaging gluten can be, and I know that we all need to KNOW what we can and cannot digest or tolerate, but I also know that all of us are different!  We each have our own individual makeup that will affect how we can process certain foods differently from everyone else.

So what's the answer?  We can't all just blindly follow every one's advice, but we can't go around poisoning ourselves to see if one food is safer than another either.  Maybe I don't even have an answer for you.  I know that isn't much help, and I started this blog to hopefully help even just one person, but as an individual, I can't tell someone else what will make them feel better or worse.  I can make an educated guess from my own experiences, but I can't say for certain how someone else will react to a specific trigger.  Heck, some days I can't even tell you what I will be reacting to.  That's just one of the things about food allergies and intolerance, especially with our Western diets that consist largely of processed foods.  There are frequently ingredients that are hidden in foods, and companies are not yet being held accountable to be totally transparent about this fact.

Perhaps the best piece of advice I can offer, if you are having issues with your health, and you think that gluten, dairy, soy, processed foods, etc. are the culprit, keep a food journal.  Track every little morsel you put in your mouth, but don't limit the journal to just the foods that you eat.  Track how you felt before and after eating, both how you feel on the health side of things, and your mood.  Write down every little stomachache, headache and episode of unexplained hives, rashes, or other weird skin reaction you might have.  Keep a record for a week, keep it up longer if you can, and pay attention!  How do you feel after eating or drinking anything?  Become your own advocate!  We can and should all support each other, and we can all say what worked best for us, but every individual will be just a little different than you, maybe even a lot different than you.  Instead of attacking each other on other peoples' blogs, let's try to build each other up!  I know we're all trying to help each other, and we all think we know best, and maybe we do know what is best for ourselves, but that doesn't mean that it is the sure fire best for everyone else too.  Give people a chance.  Give them a chance to either find out by doing their own research, or wait for them to ask for your opinion.  We are all in this together, but that doesn't mean that we are all have the same experiences.  Live well, and good luck taking your health into knowledgeable hands!!

What a Wonderful, and Stress filled Time!

This weekend was my dear friend Jamie's bridal shower.  I'm her maid of honor, so technically I held the shower, but due to limited space we held it at Jamie's house.  I'm so thankful for such a great friend!  Who holds their own bridal shower to be less of an inconvenience for their MOH???  Well, it was a lovely party!  We had a beautiful Sunday brunch, one game, and of course a myriad of presents for the blushing bride.  As fun as it was, I'm actually pretty glad that at least one step is over!  Now comes the hard part...

Over the last year, after finally figuring out my problems with gluten I dropped a ton of weight, around 40 pounds total.  Well, after the latest holiday season, and my becoming more comfortable with food again, I have put back some of the lost 40.  I only gained about 10 pounds back, but you can probably guess, I can no longer fit into my bridesmaid dress.  This is even more frustrating due to the fact that the sales girls convinced me to get a smaller size than I was comfortable in because they assured me it fit me better.  It was snug a few months ago when I picked it up, and now I can't even get the zipper close to closed.

Weight has always been a really sensitive subject for me.  I spent a good chunk of high school battling bulimia, and by the time I got to college my relationship with food was incredibly strained.  Growing up, and even in my adult life, my weight has been a constant struggle...  for my mom.  She has never been satisfied with my appearance, and for years I fought with myself to conform to what she wanted from me, then for years I struggled with not letting her dictate what I should look like or how I should feel about myself.  It's taken a good six or seven years, but I finally feel like I can brush her off when she starts ragging on my weight.  But right now, as I sit looking at a dress I can't zip, I can't help but feel guilty about brushing her off all the time.  I know I shouldn't feel guilty, part of why this dress doesn't fit is because I tried it on when I was in the middle of figuring out my issues with food and I was a little smaller than I feel comfortable at, and I'm actually quite content with my body now.  But I can't shake the feeling that she was on to something the last time she brought up my "holiday weight."

Well, back to the present and I have to do something to squeeze myself into this dress in exactly 27 days!  So today I decided it was time to stop wallowing in guilt, and confusion, and I should do something about this.  I have been getting on my treadmill a couple of times a week recently, but as my dress is still too tight, I can see that a few walks a week just isn't going to cut it this time.  I decided to set an eating plan for myself, and to get back into a gym.  I'm preparing myself for the upcoming two a day workouts that it is going to take to get rid of those 10 extra pounds.  I've set a goal of a treadmill workout in the morning and a gym workout after work every weekday.  I've also set a sensible food plan for myself, this part is going to be challenging, but I'm sure I can still make food interesting.  I foresee lots of avocados, chicken, and spinach in my future, but it will all be worth it.  Like I told my wonderful boyfriend, the first time I lost the weight it was because I was scared of eating, I gained some of it back because I allowed myself to become too comfortable with food.  I can see now that there is a healthy medium between being terrified to eat, and being so comfortable with what I can eat that I end up over indulging.  The challenge now is about modifying my relationship with food again, but it is also about adding exercise.  Eating right only works for so long before you have to start increasing your energy output too.

So here goes!  Twenty seven days, and 10 pounds, it's going to be hard, but I know I can do this!  I'm still working on the right way to do it, but the next 27 days are just the jump start.  The real work is still going to be maintaining all that hard work.